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Where Amazing Happens: The Video #2
POSTED BY Willis McGendo | POSTED 19 Oct 2008 | FILED UNDER NBA Basketball
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Where Amazing Happens: The Video
POSTED BY Willis McGendo | POSTED 19 Oct 2008 | FILED UNDER NBA Basketball
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The Pride is Back.
POSTED BY Willis McGendo | POSTED 21 Sep 2008 | FILED UNDER NBA Basketball
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CTC Classics: Sixers prevail in hard fought series
POSTED BY Emilio Escobar | POSTED 11 Mar 2008 | FILED UNDER NBA Basketball
Original Publication Date December 22nd, 2004
A user-created ESPN NBA 2k5 team lost a hard-fought playoff series to the Philadelphia 76ers early Monday morning. The loss, which came exactly 3 days after star player Joey Magnolli’s less-than-stellar showing for his chemistry exam, was a devastating blow to the make-believe franchise.
The West Cocoa Bombers, created by Magnolli, were a fun-loving bunch of wily averaged-sized players with extremely exaggerated skill levels. Mike Nash, the team’s starting center, was a 6’2″ mammoth with post moves that rivaled those of the late Wilt Chamberlain. His drop step was unstoppable against Zydrunas Ilgauskas in the first round of the playoffs and then against Jeff Foster in the second. So what went wrong?
“There is a known glitch in the game,” Nash elaborated. “The glitch is where the point guard takes an unusually large amount of shots. We played Philly in the conference finals and Iverson kept scoring 50 and 60 points. I’m e-mailing ESPN about the glitch right now.”
Starting small forward Jeremy Brewer felt differently.
“I just don’t feel as though my teammates put forth the effort that was needed. Joey is out there showboating and sometimes he forgets about me sitting in the corner wide open. Nate (Becker, the team’s backup point guard) was open from 18 feet every time Iverson double-teamed. I asked Joey about a trade after the game. I don’t want to leave this team but I don’t know if I can do this for another season.”
A dejected Magnolli didn’t offer many words.
“You can’t help but feel a little disappointed. I don’t know. Fuck this. Whatever.”
Magnolli is known as the heart and soul of the Bombers. From the first time he dunked on Mark Blount of the Boston Celtics and screamed “I call that one the job ‘cause you ain’t seen nuthin like it before!” to the last game of season, a heroic test of might on the Bombers’ part. In this game, the Bombers clinched the #1 seed in the eastern conference playoffs as well as the Atlantic Division crown in it’s first year of video game existence.
Fat fuck backup center, 6’1 350lbs Matthew Hooverfan, was left off of the playoff roster in a gesture that greatly upset him. Hooverfan declined to comment but Magnolli had some choice words for his bench protégé.
“He didn’t do anything out there. He was short and fat so I boosted his rebounding ability and he still didn’t do anything when Nash went down for 10 games due to a shattered vertebrae. I think I’m going to go in a different direction in the offseason. I’ve targeted Jerome Moiso and Steven Hunter, both of whom can at least dunk I think.”
The team also came up with the idea of adjusting the slider settings. While Magnolli is notorious for setting up much-too-easy slider settings in all of his sports video games, he insists he’s turning over a new leaf. His teammates are skeptical, especially after his Miami Dolphins went 16-0 en route to an easy Super Bowl victory in ESPN NFL 2k5. However, hope remains for the fictional basketball franchise. All 5 starters were selected for the All-Star game and their one loss, to the Boston Celtics, only occurred because Nash fell asleep while playing. None of his teammates had realized Nash was in slumber until Ricky Davis collected his own rebounded shot off the opponent’s backboard, ran down the court and dunked the ball at the buzzer. This basket secured the Bombers’ first-ever loss as well as Davis’ first-ever triple double.
So what now for the lovable 81-1 Bombers? Where do they go from here?
“Just do it all over,” Nash retorted.
“And make sure to edit some of Iverson’s stats.”