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POSTED BY Willis McGendo | POSTED 07 Oct 2008 | FILED UNDER Other Sports
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POSTED BY Willis McGendo | POSTED 28 Sep 2008 | FILED UNDER Other Sports
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2009 Edition Available Soon
POSTED BY Willis McGendo | POSTED 28 Sep 2008 | FILED UNDER Other Sports
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CTC Classics: Dick Trickle Wins Daytona 500
POSTED BY Boozie Chang | POSTED 11 Mar 2008 | FILED UNDER Other Sports
Original Publication Date: March 5th, 2005
BEACH, FLORIDA — Years after his retirement, Dick Trickle stood up on top of the racing world, winning the Daytona 500 Sunday afternoon.
Trickle, who has been retired from the Nextel Cup since 2002, rallied from the back of the field to win his first Daytona 500, and first race in NASCAR’s premiere circuit.
“I’m just so excited,” shouted Dick, as he flung milk onto the faces of his crew in Victory Lane. “I just pushed and pushed and pushed and somehow I came clean as the winner.”
As Dick celebrated and showered his team in the white liquid, his crew chief commented on the race itself. “Well Dick was down and out tucked in the back there, but once he found some air, he was running as hard as anyone in the field. Then in the middle laps he was squeezed in tight, but he hammered away and pumped until he broke through. Then with the rest of the pack coming fast, he was able to stay up and hold them off until the checkered flag waved. It was unbelievable.”
Trickle’s win was also amazing considering the problems he had in the car during the race. “Dick’s oil pressure went through the roof, and midway through the race, he was shooting searing hot oil all over the car.” Dick’s discharge dripped onto the track, and led to a 10 lap caution after Jeff Gordon slipped in it and hit the wall. “I was really worried that we’d blown our chance to win,” said Trickle.
Gordon was unhappy. “I can’t believe NASCAR didn’t check for oil until I slipped in it. Dick’s [expletive] was all on my visor and everything. I mean, an oil spill is one thing, but this was just too much to swallow.”
The second caution of the race came at lap 110, when the fabled “Big One” hit Daytona, causing a 10 car wreck that took out favorites like Jeremy Mayfield, Michael Waltrip, and Tony Stewart. Said Dick, “That one nearly stood up and bit me. I darn near slammed right into [Kurt] Busch, and that’s something nobody wants to see.”
Trickle also had a mild bout of food poisoning. “Dick was sick. He was spewing into a bag all race and we were giving him new bags at every pit stop. We had to keep him very hydrated or else Dick would have just…dried up. It’s amazing that Dick didn’t get bent out of shape at all this weekend. He walked the straight and narrow despite not rising to the occasion in qualifying.”
Trickle’s Car, sponsored by Pfizer, was able to get the equipment it needed to compete in the race. It supplied him with enough funds to get adequate engines, and wind tunnel time to prepare.
“Yeah, once we got hooked up with the Viagra team, we had all we needed to keep up the intensity. It’s difficult to go that long and hot for 3 and a half hours, but with their help, it was a snap,” gushed Dick.
Other drivers were amazed at Trickle’s run today. “Well darn, I had Dick in my rear [view mirror] all day today,” said Jimmie Johnson. “Everytime I turned around, Dick was all over me.” Dale Earnhardt Jr, who finished in 2nd, was just as impressed. “Daddy used to tell me, ‘Jr, you watch out for that Dick. You stay away from Dick,’ and now I know why. He just slapped us around out there. I can’t understand why he never won a Nextel Race until now.” Rusty Wallace, who will retire after this season, failed in his last bid to win a Daytona 500, the one jewel missing on his career. “I’m real dissapointed not to win the 500, but Dick worked hard. He earned his win, and I guess he proved that you can never be too old to blow through that barrier and win at Daytona. Yeah, Dick’s the cock of the walk today.”
Hours after the confetti had fallen and the last bit of milky white goodness burbled over his closed fist, Trickle sat down with CTC. Unlike his younger, harder days as a racer, Dick had softened with age. “This whole race was just a dream come true. I mean, I won the biggest race of them all!”
And then Dick wept.
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CTC Classics: WNBA Set to Announce Sweeping Changes
POSTED BY Willis McGendo | POSTED 11 Mar 2008 | FILED UNDER Other Sports
Original Publication Date: April 18th, 2005
The WNBA’s restyled, reimagined logo won’t be the last of Orender’s changes to the world’s second favorite women’s league. Few in the sporting world can attest to being ambivalent to Val Ackerman’s fiery reign as commissioner of the world’s unquestioned premiere women’s basketball league outside of Europe. From her first day in office she set the sport of women’s basketball on its pierced and well perfumed ear announcing her intention to raise WNBA hoops from their then 6’ slam n’ jam height to an NBA regulation 10’ height, ushering out the era of the power layup, and ushering in the era of the fundamentally sound 5’ jumper.
After enduring 15 years of Ackerman’s violent clashes with the press, her well documented ups and downs and controversial decision after controversial decision there was much sentiment within the league to introduce a calming hand to the writhing pot of tumult that is today’s WNBA. Instead the NBA’s board of directors, consisting of David Stern and five of his closest lawyers, decided to tap firebrand Donna Orender of the LPGA’s new media division to take the reigns of the league.
“I’m thrilled,” Orender burst out at her press conference. “As much as I love the LPGA and everything we’ve been able to accomplish there I’m anxious to get back to the game of women’s basketball, a sport that’s taught me much in my life. I can’t wait to get back into the saddle and help whip this thing back into shape. There are a lot of people that think this league is ready to be put out to pasture, but not me. I say its high time we dug our spurs in and took our spot in the winner’s circle.”
Moments after this year’s historic draft, ESPN’s Nancy Lieberman (formerly Lieberman-Klein) posted her draft grades for all 13 WNBA franchises on a scale of good to excellent. As the WNBA’s lone commentator, Lieberman’s opinion carries a great deal of weight, and her scores fell as follows:
Charolette Sting: A Indiana Fever: A Phoenix Mercury: A San Antonio Silver Stars: B+/A- Houston Comets: A+ Washington Mystics: B Detroit Shock: B+ Connecticut Sun: A Sacramento Monarchs: B New York Liberty: C+ Minnesota Lynx: B Seattle Storm: A+ Los Angeles Sparks: B+ AVERAGE GRADE: 
“A key part of marketing is positioning,” explained Orender. “And when I saw Lieberman’s grades a little light went off in the back of my head. How many leagues are there where no matter what happens you can say something positive about all the teams? Isn’t that fantastic? I don’t know anyone that wants to see our teams fail, so why should any of them?”
Starting with the 2005 - 2006 WNBA season the league will be retiring the traditional, or “outdated” according to league parlance, win loss system of standing tabulation. Likewise points will no longer be tracked during games, replaced with more progressive metrics like hussle, fundamentals, team play and jumper form. “I realize a lot of people are going to raise their eyebrows a little bit when they hear what we’ve got planned. Before we spend any time worrying about the very small minority that may have issues with this move we need to remember these are the same people who were up and arms when we took the speed and athleticism out of the game. Everyone’s a critic but I think 4,000 people a game tells us we were right.”
Additionally the WNBA’s old logo, featuring a generic women silhouette dribbling a basketball will also be retired and replaced with a new logo that Orender feels reflects the energetic pace of the sport. “We’re a unique game, and I think it’s important that we have a unique logo. The NBA looked to Jerry West when they designed their logo, because they felt he represented the game of that era. Likewise Major League Baseball looked to Harmon Killebrew to project the power and aura of their sport. So we looked to our own star, Rebecca Lobo, to inspire our logo. Now we feel we have a league identity that expresses our personality. We have a great personality.”
The new merit based scoring is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the new WNBA. The league also announced the formation of a new WNBA franchise, The Denver Nuggetz which will begin play in the 2005-2006 season with a unique powder blue color scheme that’s sure to turn heads. Additionally the league announced the aquisition of NBA star Carmelo Anthony by the Nuggetz in exchange for two first round picks in the WNBA Entry Draft and the rights to Sheryl Swoops.
“I think it’ll be a natural transition,” said Orender. The 5-10′ range where the action happens in the WNBA is about where Anthony should be playing anyways, and I mean when you look at him you can just tell he’ll fit right in.”
When reached for comment Nuggets GM Kiki Vanderweigh was excited with the move. “Losing a talent like Carmelo is always hard, but when an opportunity to improve the team you put on the floor is there you just have to take it. Coach Karl has stressed two things to the front office entering this off-season. We need to get better fundamentally and we need to add an outside presence. Sheryl Swoops gives us the best outside threat we’ve had since Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf and both those draft picks will immediately boost the fundamentals and basketball IQ’s of our team. Kenyon Martin kind of breaks the curve so we have to make it up somewhere.”
When asked for his feelings on the blockbuster move Nuggets Coach George Karl said “WHAT THE FUCK!” and hung up on us.